| Search: |
|
|
|
|
Does there come a time when you just give up having sex with your Wife? In Sept of 2008 my wife was diagnosed with colon cancer. 4 months later I had some vertebrae in my back fused. Needless to say we went almost a year without having intercourse. She is 52 and I am 50. We use vibrators and toys to add to our sex lives. Anyway she seems to have lost any desire for sex. When I encouraged her to start having sex again she started of with just the toys and her rabbit toy caused her to have a little bleeding and pain. I also cause pain and bleeding when I am in her. I can be very patient and I have encouraged her to see a gynecologist and finally she promised me she would and that was 7 months ago. I am willing to do other things for her and myself until she is better. The last thing I want is for her to associate pain with sex. The thing is our family doctor prescribed vaginal estrogen cream to be used every other day and on her off days she takes a estrogen pill. By the way she had a hysterectomy 15 years ago. She has quit taking the estrogen gel because she says she forgets. I tell her all the time how beautiful I think she is and I caress her body and kiss her. She is a little over weight so I try my best to make her know that I love her very much and how beautiful she is and how much she turns me on. I do most of our cooking and house work and laundry. She seems to have no desire for sex and even when I have spent all day making hints and giving kind words to her and send her texts about having sex that night, she will almost always play along with the verbal foreplay all day but when it gets down to doing anything she is busy on the computer and then when I say anything about our sex date for the night she will say she is to tired or make up some other excuse. I recently had my urologist tell me that I should have 3 orgasms a week because of prostitus. I feel so frustrated and lonely I don't know what to do. I am trying not to masturbate by myself anymore because of religious reasons etc, So my only hope is for her to try and cooperate. I will masturbate in front of her but I would like her to ask me to and not make me beg. As far as her pain goes I told her that we wont use insert-able vibrators or have intercourse until she has seen a gyno and healed. I don't have a problem finding other ways to please each other. I am starting to think that maybe I just need to put that part of my life behind me and quit touching her and making comments about sex just to get rejected. Maybe I am just getting to a age where I should just move on without that physical affection that I so badly crave from her. Does anyone have any help or advise. Thanks Just for the record, she is now cancer free. She even went to her oncologist today and he said everything as far as the cancer is going great. The family doctor told her that it would take at least 3-4 months for the estrogen cream to work. But she needs to use it and I don't think she has used any in 3-4 months. I have told her lately that I don't feel loved by her and that I am feeling very down and lonely. She reassure's me that she loves me but the first thing she does when she comes home from work is to get on the computer while I fix and bring her dinner. Marriage & Divorce - 10 Answers - 2010-07-28 13:25:50 Best Answer best thing you can do is to get a mistress. And stop doing things for her. She's chosen her sexless path. All Answers Answer 1 best thing you can do is to get a mistress. And stop doing things for her. She's chosen her sexless path. 2010-07-28 13:28:28 Answer 2 She's old and has cancer.....leave her alone!!! The last thing she is thinking about during this hard time in her life is your penis! 2010-07-28 13:28:29 Answer 3 Just take her and if she resists then sue her on the grounds of not fulfilling her wifely duties. 2010-07-28 13:29:17 Answer 4 50 is still pretty young to "Give up" but she sounds like she is in a pretty bad way. This is when the "better or worse" line comes in to play. My heart goes out to you sir. 2010-07-28 13:29:35 Answer 5 i heard there is no commandment in the bible which speaks about masterbation so go ahead do that if you dont want to get a thing on the side, like an esscort keep it a secret dont go to popular motels or hotels where persons can spot you, but i'll stop there you just wait on your wife and Read the new book that tells you everything you need to know about women, how to talk to a woman or tell if she likes you, or what gifts to buy her, or how to make love to her even how to tell if she's had an orgasm plus lots more. Visit lovestar1.com to get your copy of ITS ALL ABOUT HER. 2010-07-28 13:31:15 Answer 6 Talk to your pastor or priest in regards to the doctors advice and the religious restriction. I am sure there are ways to bend rules. As for you wife, has she healed? What if it takes many months to heal? Is she going to the doctor as promised? If not, make plans to go with her to the doctor, say you want to get her healthy, and you want to have consortium again so you're willing to hold her hand every step of the way. 2010-07-28 13:31:30 Answer 7 Mistress. 2010-07-28 13:33:30 Answer 8 seems like you have done all you can. you say nice things, you touch and caress her, you use toys and whatnot. now when you look at her side.. well its simply just laziness. She "forgets" to use her gel, she has excuses such as shes "tired" or something else. If she was really having so much pain and bleeding all the time, then im sure if it was as bad as shes making it out to be, she would hit up a gynecologist right away.. but shes not.. why? because she is too lazy to or has no desire to have sex anymore. you need to sit her down and ask her.."is it me? do you just have no desire to have sex with me? if its the pain can we please go see someone about this?" let her know it is very important to you and that you have needs as well and now this is actually hurting your feelings. If after you do all this and ask her all these things and get to the bottom line, and she still doesnt want to have sex anymore, then keep masturbating. If it is really the pain and bleeding that is causing her to not want to have sex, than ok i understand, (even though she forgets to take her medication, which would piss me off).. but if its not the pain and bleeding and is simply just laziness like i said.. then get a partner on the side ;) 2010-07-28 13:34:10 Answer 9 That's tough! I know the "Mailman" needs to "deliver" but what do you do? I can't imagine her not wanting you to take care of her orally (which could be recipricated as well since she has pain). Wish I had better advice, but the best thing to do is be HONEST with her without hurting her feelings... 2010-07-28 13:34:26 Answer 10 In a strong and healthy relationship you should talk to her about these issues and try to make it work again. Given you are both free of disease this is now a great time to restart your sex life. All the best. 2010-08-01 12:43:57 |